Recently, my wife, who works from home, began spending a lot of time with her high school ex. They said they were working together on certain projects and that they both work in related fields. At first, I didn’t mind because I trusted her and it made sense for them to collaborate. However, I observed them watching TV together when I arrived home early one day. She had her head on his lap. I couldn’t get that image out of my head.
I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to make assumptions before seeing evidence. I therefore purchased two cameras and covertly placed them in our home, one in the living room and one in the home office, where they typically.
I noticed nothing out of the ordinary on the first day they were set up. They discussed work, worked on their laptops, and didn’t appear to be acting inappropriately. I nearly felt bad for questioning her and thinking about turning off the cameras.
Then the second day arrived.
Late at night, after my wife had gone to bed, I watched the video. They began their work as normal, talking about their project while seated across the table from one another. They eventually made their way to the living room. Perhaps they were seated too close to each other. Then the unimaginable occurred.
Her former partner muttered something in her ear while leaning close. She pushed him away in a sportive manner while giggling. Then she glanced around anxiously, as though she thought someone may be observing. As I watched them, my heart was pounding. He put his arm over her shoulders and drew her in without any resistance.For a while, my wife reclined with her head resting on his shoulder while they watched television. Then it got out of hand. He gave her a kiss while tilting her chin upward. She returned his kiss.My entire world seemed to fall apart. My hands trembled and my stomach roiled. I was unable to continue watching. After shutting down the computer, I sat quietly and tried to take in what I had just witnessed. I felt deceived.
I went over to her the following morning.
I questioned her directly if there was a relationship between her and her ex, without bringing up the cameras. She, of course, denied it. She seemed insulted that I would even bring up the subject. My rage was further increased by her denial.At last, I informed her about the cameras and my observations. Her face turned pale as she froze. She stumbled as she tried to explain, but her justifications were insufficient. She couldn’t repair the damage with words.
I was unable to remain in the house. I needed time to ponder and decide what to do next, so I packed my luggage and departed. For a few days, I stayed with a buddy as I tried to figure everything out.
My wife urged me to come home and chat to her during that period, and she barraged me with calls and messages. She continually expressed her regret, saying she still loved me and that it was an error. She declared that she would stop at nothing to mend our marriage.
I felt conflicted. The betrayal was too much to handle, even though I loved her. Once lost, trust is very difficult to regain. I wasn’t sure whether I would ever be able to look at her the same way.
I ultimately concluded that we needed some room. I informed her that we would take some time apart to see if counseling may help us resolve this. I knew I couldn’t just act like it was the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make.